Your notes, brought into the pictures
Seven revised scene proofs from F074, with the originals alongside them and new lesson rhymes below.
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Nathan kisses Stella; Jen smiles beside them. Jen’s fuller bust and narrower waist follow your correction while retaining her pregnancy. Stronger cartoon rendering is a proposed style proof.
“I’ll stay to hold him,” Stella said. Then Nathan kissed her silver head.
The rider is being towed by a separate boat, with the rope visibly attached to its tower.
A rebuilt shoulder, arm, and hand point toward the other boat and its rider.
Becky, Izzy, and Preston stay in the boat while Dad attempts his turn above the wake.
A dry hardwood court, basketball jerseys, and a dunk-team trampoline replace the water and life jackets.
Still to polish before a final edition: Dad is seated here, while the retained verse says he stood.
Michael jumps past a larger, broader Tom. Tom is shown from behind for this composition proof; his facial likeness remains unverified.
He leaped past Tom; the droplets flew. “Go, Dad!” rang out across the blue.
David Junior writes lyrics and a tune instead of drawing the basketball game.
Still to polish before a final edition: make the pen’s contact with the notebook clearer.
He wrote a song about their day, And hummed it as he tucked it away.
Something to carry home
Proposed ending verses for your review. These have not yet replaced the text in the illustrated editions.
We keep love close in things we do: A Sunday shared. An “I love you.”
Talk about it: Which little tradition helps us remember someone we love?
We needn’t win to make them proud; We try, we laugh, we cheer out loud. The best part isn’t what we do, But having time to spend with you.
Talk about it: When did someone’s encouragement help you try again?
We played to win, but came to see How good a cheering team can be. The scores will fade; the laughs will stay. We’ll sing about our day of play.
Talk about it: How can we make the next game fun for everyone?